Naru Plus Tea Equals Bathroom?
by HawaiianCaffeine
Summary: Mai is confused. She asks Naru why he keeps her as his assitant. He says that it's because she makes good tea.Which is fine...except he never goes to the bathroom? An interesting mystery. MaiXNaru


**_Monday _**

"Mai!"

"Tea, yes, yes, I know… jeez" _That's all he __**ever**__ wants…_

Leaving to pour the tea and fix it just right, she came back and set the mug down on his desk and stayed there.

Naru raised his eyebrow as he looked up at Mai.

"That is all. You can go."

Mai started to get fidgety.

Sighing, Naru asked, "Is there something you need?"

"Um, well…"

"Spit it out already."

"Why do you keep me around? I'm not a very good psychic and I some how always end up getting me and someone else hurt. Most of the time, you."

After a moment of silence he said, "Getting someone else and ME hurt, Mai. Not me and someone else hurt. You really should go to class more often."

Mai sighed and tapped her finger irately on her other arm.

Naru continued, "Is that all?"

Mai nodded and stayed where she was. He would answer this question if he ever wanted a moments peace darn it!

Another sigh slipped out as he finally answered, "You make good tea. Now go do your work. I don't pay you for chit-chatting."

Mai looked at him suspiciously. Was that really all? No… there must be something else. And she'd be the one to figure it out, or so help her!

Right at that moment someone decided to make his grand entrance to the office.

"Bou-san!! What are you doing here? I thought you had to go on a trip for a concert!" Mai said finally exiting Naru's personal office room.

After a friendly embrace they sat down and began to catch up, both ignoring the irritated boss who once again stated that this was an office, not a café to talk.

* * *

"So Mai, haven't lost your mind being cooped up in this building with the Narcissist have you?" 

Mai shook her head with a grin, "No… but there's something that's been on my mind…"

Monk-san raised his eyebrow. "Oh really? And is it about our favourite crush? Hm?"

Mai blushed and said, "Well… sort of. You see, I asked Naru why he keeps me as an assistant since I don't help very much—and he said that it was because I make good tea."

He raised his eyebrow. "And you don't believe him? You know, we call him a narcissist for a reason, Mai. Maybe he's just that particular about his tea."

Mai nodded and said, "I know. I've thought of that… but here's the thing that doesn't make sense with that theory. He _never_ goes to the bathroom."

Monk-san looked taken aback. "What do you mean '_Never'_? I'm sure I've seen him go a few times, Mai. You're just exaggerating."

Mai still looked very serious though, "Yes, sure I've seen him go a few times to. But that's just it. A _few_. Don't you get it? Every time I turn _around_, he's asking for more tea and every time I turn around he's _already_ drunk it all, already asking for more. I doesn't make sense. With all the tea he's been drinking, he's _got_ to go way more than a 'few times'!! Think about it! Really. _Where_ does all that tea _**go**_??"

Monk-san got silent as he mulled it over.

"Maybe he has a bathroom in his office to use, so he doesn't have to come out."

Mai shook her head.

"I've thought about that too, but I have to go in there every_day _to give him tea and there aren't any other doors especially to a bathroom."

"Erm… secret passage way?"

Mai blanched.

Both confused they sat there for a second thinking and glancing every once and a while at Naru's office.

"Are you _sure_, Mai? Maybe you just weren't looking..."

Mai sighed as she stood up and dragged the hardheaded 'monk' to Naru's office door.

When they got over there, they both pressed their faces up to the window glass that was in the door so you could see through it, and at Naru.

While Naru was busy with paper work, the two moved their eyes all over the room, and low and behold—no door.

Whispering, Mai said, "See, TOLD ya!"

Replying in the same low voice, he said, "Well, I don't know! I just figured—oh crap!"

They both froze as they saw Naru's eyes lock in on them pressing their faces against the small window. A glare and the two were dropping down below the window blushing embarrassed.

Mai spoke softly, "I figure if we find out what really is going on, I might get Naru to tell me the real reason for keeping me around."

"You may be right, Mai. But how can we figure out what Naru is really doing? And you know he'll only tell you the truth if you have _proof_ of it."

"That's why I told you. I thought you'd give me an idea."

The Monk shrugged. "Well, I don—wait! Maybe I do… come on."

Monk-san led Mai away from the door and onto the couch, to tell her the plan.

Mai nodded and grinned widely.

This was going to be _perfect_. Even Naru wouldn't be able to deny it.

* * *

**_Tuesday_ **

"Mai! Tea!"

Grinning widely, she pushed open the door and set the tea down.

"Having a good day Naru? No? Yes? Hope you like the tea! Have a great day!" Mai said upbeat.

Naru raised his eyebrow. "Why are you so happy today? Is there something I should know?"

Mai looked surprised. "I'm happy because it's a wonderful sunny day! The sun is shining—the birds are chirping! Life is great! Don't you think so? Yes? Good! Time to go finish some very productive filing!"

Naru eyed his worker suspiciously and warily as she bounced out of the room. What was wrong with that girl today? She must have been planning something…

Naru shrugged. It didn't matter. She was no match for his awesome genius. Or so he thought.

* * *

_**Wednesday Night **_

At someone's house, the doorbell sounded. The person opened the door.

"You got the stuff?"

He nodded.

Excitedly Mai ushered in the monk who held the tape, into her house.

With a grin he said, "I hope you don't let in all older guys so easily, Mai. I might have to come and save you!!"

Mai rolled her eyes and she stole the tape from him and led him into her living room with a small television.

"The only person you'd have to save me from, Bou-san, is yourself, you old pervert."

"Hey! How old do you think I am?!"

Mai shook her head as she hooked up her television to play the VHS tapes.

"How did you get the camera's in his office anyway, Mai?"

Mai raised her eyebrow.

"And where'd you get the cameras from, Bou-san?"

He looked uncomfortable and mumbled, "I know some people…"

"Uh-huh. And we'll leave that at that."

"But wait! I still want to know—"

Mai, still grinning, winked and said, "And that's my little secret."

Monk-san shook his head as he popped the tapes into the VCR hooked up to her television.

Both of them folded their legs beneath them as they sat excitedly waiting for the screen to reveal the ALL POWERFUL TRUTH!! BUAHAHAHA!

_VIDEO on screen:_

_Mai walked into the room, with a wide grin._

"_Having a good day Naru? No? Yes? Hope you like the tea! Have a great day!" Mai said upbeat._

_Naru raised his eyebrow. "Why are you so happy today? Is there something I should know?"_

_Mai looked surprised. "I'm happy because it's a wonderful sunny day! The sun is shining—the birds are chirping! Life is great! Don't you think so? Yes? Good! Time to go finish some very productive filing!"_

_Naru eyed his worker suspiciously and warily as she bounced out of the room._

Bou-san and Mai both were practically pressing their face to the screen, ready to see if they were right and caught it on tape.

_Now alone, Naru sat back in his chair, grabbed the cup and—_

"Bou-san!! MOVE your head back!! Your taking up the whole screen!!"

Grumbling he sat back so that Mai could once again, glue her face to the screen.

**REWIND**

—_and warily as she bounced out of the room._

_Now alone, Naru sat back in his chair, grabbed the cup and bit-by-bit downed the cup till it was all gone. After he finished the cup, he went back to his work for a few more minutes before shouting, "Mai!! Tea!" once again._

_This continued for the rest of the day, frequently getting up to go to the bathroom, not unusually so though._

_Finally, at closing time, Naru got up, collected his things, shut off the lights and left._

**_TICTICTICTICTICTIC_**

Mai blinked several times, while the monk's was dropped.

"Is that it? This must be a joke!" Bou-san finally said many blinks later and a few flies flew in and back out of his slack-jawed mouth.

Mai shook her head.

"Nope. I don't think it is. Maybe Naru was telling the truth after all. I mean… in the video, you see him getting up to go bathroom every two hours or so. Certainly enough for all the tea he drinks."

Monk-san shrugged, but they both seemed dissatisfied as they stared at the end of the tape.

"But then how come we never _see _him leave to go? What is he? Ninja!!"

Still looking wide-eyed at the screen nodded. "Maybe… maybe, Bou-san"

He shook his head, till realization hit him.

"Maybe he goes whenever your back is turned! You're always filing, making tea, or… sleeping. Maybe he just happens to go during those times!"

"That must be it! Oh… but… that's no fun… I really thought that…"

"Naru had alternative reason for keeping you around and that he might like you as much as you like him?"

Mai looked guiltily up as she nodded her head.

He moved closer to her as he put his arm around her. "It's okay Mai-chan! I'm sure Naru likes you as much as you like him! He's just more… inept at showing it. Don't give up! Besides, I'll protect you from big bad Naru!!"

Mai laughed as she pushed him off of her playfully. "Perverted old guy."

Monk-san laughed as he got up onto his feet and helped Mai up on her feet to.

"I guess I'll go, since the mysterious tea of Naru is no longer…a mystery. And I was really hoping to uncover some sort of dirt on Naru too! Ah well… maybe next time. See ya later, Mai! Remember to lock the door and don't let any crazy strangers in the house!"

Grinning, he waved and walked out the door, leaving a some-what depressed Mai.

And she really thought that there was more to this than Naru let them believe too.

_So close!!_ Mai thought as she locked her door and got ready for bed

* * *

_**Thursday**_

"—Tea!"

Much less energetic than the days before, Mai sulkily made her way into Naru's office with his tea.

Mai looked up and _swore_ that Naru was practically smirking… but she was to depressed at the moment to care. She really wanted there to be more than just _tea_.

With a sigh, Mai set the tea down on Naru's desk.

"Something wrong? You were so upbeat the last couple days."

Mai couldn't put her finger on it…but the way he said it… he seemed to be taunting her. As if he knew. But that was ridiculous.

"Yeah… well... I'm just not feeling very good today, Naru."

Her answer was met with silence and with another sigh she was gone.

Now alone, Naru let out a smirk as he opened his drawer to find some papers, but instead brushed up against a tape—which perhaps, may or may not have a grimacing Naru, that might have taken a sip of the tea and quite possibly have tossed said tea in a conveniently placed plant that may have been given to him by Mai to 'lighten up' his 'boring' office—on it. But who really knows?

Really a preposterous idea that Naru would have switched out any such tapes proving that he may or may have not been drinking Mai's tea, with a self made copy that he might have happened to set on a loop.

But his –possible- self-satisfaction was short lived as he remembered Mai's sudden depressed attitude. But then… he figured this would happen and already had it covered.

Another self-satisfied smirk came over his face.

* * *

Mai unhappily made her way to the kitchen area where she made the tea. He would be wanting some more soon, so she'd best get started on it already… 

Opening the cabinet to grab the box of tea bags, her hand brushed something unfamiliar.

Questioningly, she looked up and saw a small vase full of flowers. In the middle of the bouquet, was a small card. Smiling widely at the gift from the unknown person, she picked up the vase and went into the main room with the couch and set it down on the table.

Mai carefully picked up the card and read what it said.

After reading the two lines, if possible, her smile grew and she barged into Naru's office without knocking, and without letting go of the doorknob.

"Naru! Make your own tea!!" Mai said happily and then shut the door and bounced into the filing room.

Naru chuckled as he got up from his desk and followed her into the filing room.

* * *

"What's this?" Monk-san had decided to let himself in to the SPR office and found an odd vase full of flowers, with a card fallen on the floor next to it. 

Picking up the card he read out loud,

"_I like having you around, idiot_

**_Naru_**

_PS: Your tea stinks"_

Furrowing his brow he started to say, "What—" Before realization hit him.

With a wide grin he went to go see Mai, in the filing room. "So I guess Naru really did—" But he never got to finish his thought.

The monk seemed to accidentally to have stumbled upon a… stumbling Mai and Naru, falling over things while making out. Although the Monk turned red and rushed to the front door to leave the two to their privacy, he couldn't keep off the perverted grin that came to his face.

Before he walked out the door, Monk-san yelled to the two, "TOLD YA SO, MAI!!"

Finally he walked out and shut the door, chuckling, when he heard another unknown object crash to the ground caused by the couple.

"What are you laughing at?" He looked up to see the rest of the gang in the hallway—Ayako, John, Lin, Yasuhara, and Masako—all of whom had been previously out having lunch.

Monk-san's grin widened, but now his eye held a –I know something you don't know- ping to it.

"Nothing. Hey, lets go see a movie or something guys."

They all looked at him questioningly. "Why?" Asked Lin.

Rubbing the back of his head nervously Monk-san answer, "Well… the two are indisposed at the moment."

"The two are fighting AGAIN?" Ayako said exasperatedly.

The group then heard a few soft objects fall on the floor.

"Are we going to have to go protect Mai from Naru?" John asked.

"—Or Naru from Mai?" Yasuhara said snickering.

Covering up a laugh he replied, "No, they're just fine. Lets just go." The group nodded, none wanting to be in the 'fight' that seemed to ensue.

_The only protection they might need is a condom…_Monk-san thought laughing and shaking his head as he hurried the friends out of the building and toward the theatre.

**SIGH**

_Teenagers._

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_This is my first Ghost Hunt fic. I thought this up one day and thought it might be funny . Of course I was really bored, trying to get to sleep after having two cups of coffee, so I may very well be wrong. Read and tell me what you think Hope you liked it._

_Rock on and payce out_


End file.
